This week we’re talking about Waldorf Parenting. I’ve got some pretty strong opinions (they maybe even a little controversial) and some basic ideas to help you create an intentional Waldorf family life for yourself and your children.

This episode is being brought to you by my ebook The Waldorf Home. If you’re interested in reading ideas, suggestions and tips for making your home more aligned with your children’s waldorf education, check out my book at www.thewaldorfhome.com.

Also, if you’re a homeschooling parent or a teacher, check out my curriculum guides at www.awaldorfjourney.com/shop. There you can find my first grade bundle where I go through how to introduce the consonants and vowels through the fairy tales. It’s one of my most popular guides, so I hope you’ll support the podcast and check it out.

Content

• Rant about “Waldorf enough.”
• Connect
• Work
• Create
• Explore

Email me: meredith@awaldorfjourney.com
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The post Waldorf Parenting appeared first on A Waldorf Journey.

And for many of us, an ability to connect with and understand children is a big reason why we chose the teaching profession.

But, what they don’t tell you in teacher training, is that this work is just as much about working with parents as it is working with children.

And getting those relationships figured out is absolutely essential to not only your success as a teacher, but also your students’ success in the classroom.

I know teachers who ultimately left teaching because they found this aspect of the work so challenging. They said, “I can work with any child. It’s the parents that make it challenging.”

And really, should we be surprised that this parent-teacher relationship can be so contentious? I think not! Here’s why it can be so challenging.

1. Parents are trusting you with their most-valued, most-treasured gift. If they have questions that cause them to question that trust, it would be irresponsible to not ask them.
2. Parents have so much influence on your students, their actions — supportive or not — can make a huge difference in your daily work. When a student has been acting out all morning, disrupting your carefully crafted lesson and you find out that they stayed out till 11pm watching the Blazers game, it’s hard not to feel frustrated.
3. Your students have two big authority figures in their lives — you and their parents (well, for many students this means three, but you know what I mean.) It’s natural that children feel caught between these two influences.

So, these are three big reasons why it’s worth putting some time and effort into nurturing those parent relationships.

Receiving Trust with Respect

When I became the teacher of my current class, back in first grade, I remember seeing the earnestness and good intention in their parents’ eyes at our first parent meeting.

It was so clear to me that they were so full of hope and dedication for providing their children with the best possible learning environment.

They had put their hearts and souls into caring for those little darlings and they were so clearly putting their trust in me, expecting that I would approach the task with the same care and intention.

At the time, I remember comparing their perspective with the attitudes of the parents of my graduating 8th graders. One of the things that I remarked on at our graduation was my tremendous gratitude for the trust they had given me.

By 8th grade, these parents were dropping their students off at school and letting them figure things out. When my students and I had disagreements or homework assignments were late, their parents stepped back and let us work it out. They understood that I had a relationship with their children that was separate from the relationship we all had together.

After so many years of seeing how I respected their trust, by 8th grade it was freely given. But trust like that isn’t automatic. It comes from years of thoughtful, human relationship.

Understanding and Patience

Years ago, I attended a workshop at the local community college to earn clock hours for state licensing. It was not a Waldorf training, but I sat in a classroom with a group of early childhood teachers who were just as dedicated to their work as all of my colleagues were.

One of the things we talked about in that workshop was the idea that every single parent wants the best thing for their child. There is not a parent out there who does not want the best outcome or experience for their child. In that workshop we talked about this premise being foundational to our work with parents.

I remember thinking how different this perspective was from some of the grumbling I’ve heard from some of my Waldorf colleagues.

The thing is, if we remember that all parents want the best thing for their child, we can see things in a different light. Those moments when it seems like parents are not doing what seems to be the best thing for their child (like letting them stay up till midnight for a basketball game) can be thought about differently.

1. Maybe they don’t understand the impact that the action has on the child. In this case, they just need information from you. Share your observations. Free of judgement, with just the facts.
2. Maybe they’re doing the best they can. Maybe the single mom had to work and had no choice other than to bring the child along.
3. Maybe they are acting according to values that are different from yours. Maybe long lost Uncle Ted was in town and surprised the family with tickets to the game. Of course, they should go. It might be the one experience the child has with a family member.

When I started viewing those different choices in this light, I found that it made a huge difference. I started recognizing that my class parents are always doing the best that they KNOW or CAN do.

And sometimes what is important to them as a parent is different than what is important to me as a teacher. As long as those moments of contention don’t happen too frequently, I can live with these differences.

The important part is recognizing that we all want the best thing for the child.

Balancing Authority

These differing value systems can sometimes make it difficult for teachers and parents to see eye-to-eye. And when this happens, the person who suffers the most is the child.

Because here’s the thing. If a child is faced with two authority figures who are at odds with each other, the child feels pulled in two directions.

“I love my parent!”

“I love my teacher!”

But get this, no matter how loving, heartfelt and connected your student relationships are, if it comes down to teacher vs. parent, parent will always win.

On a very deep level, your students know that their safety, happiness and overall well-being is the duty and responsibility of their parents.

And when your students’ sense of safety is shaken by a conflict between two authority figures, and they are looking for security and reassurance, they will always turn to the parents.

And truly, we wouldn’t want it any other way. I mean, I love my students, but I am not their parent. The best thing that I can do is to make sure that I align myself with their parents and that we are working together as much as possible.

Okay, so you see how important it is to have a good relationship with class parents? What can you do to enhance that connection?

Talk them up.

Talk to your students frequently about the complete respect that you have for their parents. Let them know that you think their parents are incredible human beings. Don’t be afraid to go hyperbolic here. Kids know that part of them comes from their parent, so when you are complimenting their parent, you are complimenting them. Some ideas?

• “Look at your lunch! Your mom is such a good cook!”
• Tell your students stories about good deeds that your own children did for you and how it made you feel.
• Acknowledge the important hard work of the class parents, even when (or especially when) it means that the child needs to go to aftercare.

In general, carry the attitude that you have nothing but immense respect for your students’ parents, and do whatever you can to let your students know it.

Communicate Communicate Communicate

I try to send a weekly email to my class parents with updates about the week. I also love to let parents know when they kids have done something remarkable. And, as well as I can, I let them know about upcoming events in advance.

When I communicate with them, they come to understand the level of thought and intention that goes into my work with their children. This builds trust and respect for my work and helps them to understand ways that they can support this work at home.

(It also helps that a bunch of them read my blog — hi guys!)

Never communicate a problem without a solution.

When you understand that your class parents approach their duty as parents with reverence and importance, it is easy to remember to be thoughtful when communicating problems.

I remember when I was a young mother and my child’s teacher came to me with a concern about his behavior. I remember feeling wracked with anxiety and discomfort about how to support my child. Knowing that there was something wrong and not having any idea about how to address it was agonizing! When some parents are in this uncomfortable situation, they understandably don’t handle it well. Sometimes they look for someone to blame (don’t be surprised if it’s a fellow class community member, or worse, you) or they go into denial. None of these reactions does anything to rectify the issue or support you or the child.

So whenever there is something difficult to communicate with a parent, I try to make sure I’m clear about what I am expecting of them and what they can do to help remedy the situation.

When parents worry, they need reminders that mistakes are a part of life and that our job is to help children learn and grow from those mistakes. Our effort is not to avoid them.

So help them know what to do and they’ll approach the problem with confidence and a problem-solving attitude.

Love them. And their kids.

Seriously. Do you know how hard it is to be a parent in today’s world? Parenting is hard enough, and the world has made it even harder. Those parents need you on their team. Help them out and let them know that you’ve got their backs.

I promise, if you put in the work to nurture those relationships, build respect for your class parents and support them however you can, it will come back to you in spades!

Life isn’t easy. We need each other. Work together. Understand one another. And love those kids.

The post What Smart Waldorf Teachers Know About Working with Parents (that you should too) appeared first on A Waldorf Journey.

How much screen time is okay?

What about educational shows?

Is it really that bad?

Will the Waldorf police come after me?

Making decisions about media use for your children is one of the most charged issues in Waldorf Education. There are so many shoulds that parents can feel completely unsupported in their decisions. That’s what this episode is all about.

This episode is being brought to you by my new course The Practical Art of the Waldorf Classroom. My Summer Productivity Course is winding down and I’m getting ready to lead a new group through a whole new set of topics all about the tasks Waldorf teachers need to think about while they’re in the classroom. Topics for my Practical Art course include:

• Rhythms and Routines
• Classroom Management, part 1 — engagement
• Classroom Management, part 2 — discipline
• Imagination in the Classroom
• Working with Parents
• Working with Students

You can also sign up for my free classroom management workshop, which goes live September 10. Just put y0ur email address below and you’ll be on the notification list.

Resources in this Episode

• Ben Klocek’s Website
• AWJ 12 | Managing Media and Screentime

The post AWJ 46 | Screen Time Reality Check: How to Make the Right Decision for Your Family appeared first on A Waldorf Journey.

Just as I was putting together my thoughts for this episode, an article from The Waldorf School of Philadelphia came across my facebook feed. There are also a few other resources that you might find useful in figuring out how to get through the summer. 

Article from Waldorf School of Philadelphia

Whole Family Rhythms article

This episode is being brought to you by my ebook The Waldorf Home. If you’re interested in reading ideas, suggestions and tips for making your home more aligned with your children’s Waldorf Education, check out my book at www.thewaldorfhome.com.

Also, if you’re a homeschooling parent or a teacher, check out my curriculum guides at www.awaldorfjourney.com/shop. There you can find my first grade bundle where I go through how to introduce the consonants and vowels through the fairy tales. It’s one of my most popular guides, so I hope you’ll support the podcast and check it out.

Or consider sponsoring the podcast through Patreon.

My main tips:

• Rhythm
• Get outside
• Structure
• Freedom
• Working
• Compromise

The post AWJ 42 | How to Be a Waldorf Parent in the Summer appeared first on A Waldorf Journey.

Interested in knowing more about my evaluation and mentoring services? Click here.

One of the things I’ve been noticing in both my own and others’ classrooms is the importance of rhythm.

I remember when I first started teaching I felt like the two-hour-long main lesson was an absolute eternity! I thought, “How can I possibly fill two hours with meaningful content?!”

In those first few years, I certainly did fill the time with meaningful content, but I worked HARD to create those lessons. See, back in those days I didn’t understand the value of rhythm. Every two-hour lesson was brand new and created entirely from scratch. This took a TON of time every night!

It didn’t take me long to realize how much a healthy rhythm can help.

Why is rhythm important?

Now that rhythm is such a strong part of my teaching, I’ve realized why it is so valuable.

Rhythm is comforting for children.

When you have a consistent rhythm, your students know what is coming next. This puts them at ease as they move through the day. They like knowing when different activities will come up and they even begin to anticipate them.

Of course, I notice this most on the days that are out of rhythm. Whenever there is an assembly or a field trip, my students are thrown off and require a lot more of my attention and direction. Inevitably there are more squabbles, more boundary-pushing and more mistakes. (Or should I say “growth opportunities”?)

Rhythm makes classroom management easier.

When students can anticipate activities, they don’t need you to instruct and remind. For example, every day my students play flute after circle. It has become such a consistent part of our routine that as soon as they return to their desks after circle, they begin taking out their flutes and getting ready to play. I don’t have to say a word!

As a parent, I have used rhythm for those tasks that my children find tedious or unpleasant. There were lots of examples from when they were little, but these days I have teenagers and I’ve found rhythm just as useful. For awhile my son was avoiding working on his SAT prep materials. We realized we needed to establish a rhythm around it so it would consistently happen. We tied the rhythm to dinner (which has to happen every night) to make it even easier.

Rhythm makes lesson prep SO much easier.

Now that rhythm is such a strong part of my lessons, they are so much easier to plan! In fact, all but about 20 minutes of every 2-hour lesson is held by a rhythm. Those 20 minutes are my daily story or new content time. There’s no way around preparing that every night. But luckily, it’s the part of the lesson that I find most interesting. (Want to read more about my block prep? Click through to read this post.)

The rest of the lesson is filled with rhythm that follows a consistent pattern. The specifics need refreshing now and then, and I usually give my attention to this weekly.

Here’s a look at my current rhythm, as an example.

Opening/Warm-Up — 20 minutes

• Outside jump-rope (same all year)
• Handshake, greeting songs, verse (same all year)
• Housekeeping — attendance, schedule (same all year)

Artistic Work — 15 minutes

• Circle Activities — folk dance, seasonal poem, beanbags, movement exercises (refreshed with a new activity approximately weekly)
• Flute (a new song once/month or so)

Practice Activities — 20 minutes

• New phonics rule or math concept refreshed weekly, activities vary according to the day of the week. Sometimes daily prep is necessary to create the practice activity (if written). I usually only do a written activity if we are not doing a main lesson page that day.

Review/Bookwork — 20 minutes

• Remember the previous day’s new material. Work with that material in some way, usually a main lesson page (drawing or writing). Daily prep required to create the page.

New Content — 20 minutes

This is the part of the lesson that requires the most daily prep, but as I mentioned, it is my favorite. I love figuring out the story I’m going to tell, taking notes on it and preparing to tell it to the class.

Now, if you’re counting up the minutes, you’ll see this totals about an hour and a half. These times are definitely estimates. Usually it is the warm-up that takes us a little bit longer. I also really love doing artistic work with my students, so that sometimes goes long, as well. And if I don’t go long that just means we get a little extra time for snack and recess. Yay!

I go into a lot more detail about lesson prep in my Curriculum Planning E-Course. If you feel overwhelmed about planning that 2 hour lesson and want a little more handholding, this course is for you.

So how much do I prep?

So, because of this strong daily rhythm, my prep rhythm looks like this.

• Monthly — map out the block, decide which stories to tell, which phonics to focus on, etc. A lot of this work is figured out in the summer.
• Weekly — Bring one new artistic/movement activity; consider phonics rule for the week, map out activities, sample words, etc. This takes me about two hours on a Sunday afternoon. I sit at the piano and figure out melodies, create clapping rhythms, etc.
• Daily — Prepare new content and bookwork or practice activity. This takes 1-2 hours/day. I often do this at home in the morning before school. I like to get up early and linger over my coffee.

The other thing to mention, of course, is that because I have built such a nice rhythm around this work in my own life, I enjoy it more and it doesn’t feel like work. See, rhythm is good for grown-ups, too.

I share a lot more specifics about the rhythms and content I use in my block-by-block curriculum guides. I currently have guides available for 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grades. Lots of good information there!

Where is rhythm really strong in your life? What are the moments that could be made easier by the power of rhythm? Let’s chat in the comments!

The post Rhythm: The Waldorf Teacher’s Secret Weapon appeared first on A Waldorf Journey.

You try to keep your children sweet and avoid materialism, but the grandparents are asking for Christmas lists.

Usually your family sticks to a consistent rhythm with plenty of time for sleep, regular meals and lots of outside time, but visiting relatives, family gatherings and cold winter days turn everything upside-down.

You want to instill in your children a sense of reverence and wonder for this time of year when the spiritual world feels so close, but the images they experience are silly characters like Rudolf, Frosty and the Grinch.

Holding true to a vision of what the holidays can mean for your children is a challenging task, indeed. What is a thoughtful, conscious parent to do?

After years of parenting my own children through this season, and watching my class parents struggle to maintain a conscientious and values-driven approach to the holidays, I’ve learned a few things.

Rhythm is important.

We all know what can happen to our children when everything goes off the rails. Even visiting relatives and devoted grandparents don’t want to spend the evening with a tired and hungry toddler. Do your best to keep the big three — bedtimes, mealtimes and outside time — consistent. Your child (and the rest of the family) will be happier with the usual healthy dose of each. Even when everything else is topsy-turvy, good sleep, nourishing food and fresh air are battles worth fighting. Step up and insist on the afternoon nap. Get up early and feed your child breakfast before the kitchen gets busy. Children just don’t get brunch. Grab the coats, open the front door and get your child outside. Don’t be surprised if all of the cousins join in the fun.

Looking for a good parenting book to help with establishing rhythm and other simple parenting strategies? My favorite is Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.

Choose your battles.

Consider carefully the aspects of your child’s day that contribute most to general health and well-being and choose your battles accordingly. For most, it’s the top three mentioned above. Everything else is extra. Case in point. . . 

Does this scenario sound familiar? You and your family arrive at Grandma’s house and all of the adults are in the kitchen chatting and cooking. You peek into the living room and find all of the cousins sitting in front of the TV watching Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer claymation. What do you do?

Now, I’m in full support of pulling the playdough or beeswax out of your purse and tempting the kids away from the screen with a fun craft project. But YOU might want to actually visit with your out-of-state sister. And the kids might actually want to snuggle up next to the cousins. Do you find yourself resentfully attempting to switch things up?

Settle in. Tolerate the inconvenience. Enjoy your family. Choose a different battle. Or at least a different moment.

You can’t make or break a childhood with one claymation video. 

Creating a joyful, nourishing childhood is what we all strive for. My ebook A Waldorf Home is full of inspiring ideas for crafting the Waldorf childhood of our dreams.

Keep your eye on the big lessons.

Don’t let your strict Waldorf values get in the way of truly recognizing the meaning behind the season. Let me tell you what I mean.

When my oldest son was six-years-old, I was just starting my career as a Waldorf teacher. I was full of idealism and I had a fierce a determination to hold true to the new set of values I had learned about in my training.

I recognized the value of rhythm. I thought carefully about my children’s daily experiences. I prioritized outside play and plenty of sleep. I eliminated screen-time from my children’s daily experiences. And because I was on my way to becoming a teacher, I plagued myself with a question that is asked far-too often in Waldorf circles — “Am I Waldorf enough?” The pressure was real!

Want to know more about creating a Waldorf home? Put your email here.

You can imagine my horror, then, when my son came home from a holiday celebration with his father and grandparents with a collection of toys from the film Toy Story. He received not only Buzz Lightyear himself, but also Buzz Lightyear’s arch-enemy, the robot-alien Zurg, delightfully designed as a motion-activated, moving, talking piggy bank. Calvin ran into the house with pure delight on his face. “Look what Grandma and Grandpa gave me!”

I confess that for a moment I shuddered at the idea that this robotic voice would greet me anytime I walked into my son’s room. Though I had not taken Calvin to see Toy Story myself, Disney blockbusters were a regular part of his experience on Dad-weekends. I had already reconciled myself with the fact that this media exposure allowed him to connect with his dad, and I couldn’t begrudge the fact that he had a loving, actively-involved non-custodial father.

But still, ZURG!? Even if I tried, I could not come up with a toy MORE out of line with my Waldorf ideals than this mechanized, robotic, noisy, motion-activated device designed to encourage my son to save his pennies and become even MORE materialistic! I swear, it was Ahriman incarnate!

Thankfully, hard as it was in the moment, I had the presence of mind to set aside my “Waldorf-enough” concerns and consider the situation through my son’s joyful eyes. Those eyes were filled with love for the givers of this gift, his grandparents. He had a genuine expression of gratitude and I am so GLAD this is what guided my response.

What kind of message would it have sent if I had quietly tucked Zurg into the closet and dodged my son’s questions about where it had gone? He was young enough that it could have easily disappeared, forgotten after a few days.

What good would have been accomplished if I had quietly fumed that the grandparents completely ignored the Christmas list of silks, wooden figures and dress-up clothes that I had carefully curated for my beloved 6-year-old?

Though either of these responses could have been acceptable, and would certainly have been “more Waldorf”, as you might guess, that’s not how the situation unfolded.

No, Zurg took the front-and-center position on my son’s dresser and for weeks (months?) he somewhat-violently greeted me whenever I entered the room. And though I definitely bristled, I’m quite confident that my son gratefully thought of his grandparents every time he put a penny in the bank. 

Don’t let your Waldorf ideals get in the way of recognizing and appreciating the true gifts of the season. Let aunts, uncles and grandparents give from their hearts. Share favorite holiday traditions with your children, even if they include sugar cookies, late night Christmas light tours and A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Don’t forget that CONNECTION is what we’re all here for. 

p.s. You don’t have to replace the batteries.

The post Waldorf Real Talk: Parenting Lessons I Learned from Buzz Lightyear appeared first on A Waldorf Journey.